Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Job and The iNternet

Assalamualaikum and hi

By the time i post this, it would be a few days after the day i wrote it.
i need a freakin internet at home lowh! takpe first get a job and get that those portable modem? entahlah, what was it called? That maxis thingy tu ! I dont remember but the thought that i can surf everywhere without searching for a wireless internet, or ride my way to the CC which is a it far from my home or the nearest option. My cousin’s house, only most of the time the internet is painstakingly slow.

What would i do with an internet anyway?

Err,myspace,friendster,Hi 5,Virtual Friends (Ok, so maybe i’m active with the only two)

Forums, serious it is very addicting to me

Research, ah, it is very impossible to write a book without some knowledge even though it was some mushy love story.

The whole rapid communication? Hello, i got friend who’s in German, though he did call every once a while but it would be nice if i can keep in touch constantly.


Hm, Downloading? LOL.
So i here stated the reason,
The resolution is to get a job.
Get the money
The internet,
The snicker
The Heels
The Bags
The cute outfit
THe steamboat rendezvous
The Hagen Daz (Did i spelled it right?)
Then the college money... ( I know, cant believe that i put it at the end of the list)

HUAHUAHUAHUAHUa!

Oh wait, i need a laptop! (lets put it above the college money shall we?)

Randomly Whining

Assalamualaikum and Hye

Stories are made up from imagination and while i have some of the wildest imagination, writing about it is so much harder and i am suck at it.
Today no stories are made but as usual, have plots in my mind just waiting to be arrange and to be beautifully written by me. But as i start writing, everything is lost under the radar. I dont know why or how to retrieve it back.
I never knew what to do with my life
I have no clear ambition except when i was 13 years old
I wanted to be a writer but as usual my father never approved of it.
So then i wanted to be a travel guide, to be working in hotels but the main reason that i wanted to chose travelling is that i wanted to get away from life in KL.
From my parent exactly and my own family.
What i need is a place where no one knew me
And start a new life there.

But such life are lonely.
And know i’m with my family but i felt lonelier than being on my own.
That’s life and its coming back and forth for new faces and new paces.

The day after the post office day

Assalamualaikum and hi

Sambungan cerita post offfice


The day after the Post Office Day, Karl supposed to come. He did came anyway but i was upset since it was only for a little while but i agree to follow him to KJ anyway.

Sorry. How could this ever be a blog?.When the only thing that i have put here are merely my whines and laments of how hard life is for me ( Hard? it was hardly a challenge) and yes i love to exaggerated when it comes to how bored i felt in these couple of days. But it does feels like that anyway.


Ok back to the day after Post Office Day. He came and i was upset when he told me that we only had an hour to spend time with if we hang out in Shah Alam. So i pouted and think. While i thought about the senario and remain looking upset at the same time, Karl keep bringing up diffrent topics to talk about, try to nudged me from hibernation and cruel me, i only managed a tiny half hearted smile, a faint expression and worst,no reaction at all.
But he never gave up ( though there are some sighed and winced) he kept trying untill i open my mouth and said “Lets go to KJ”
There i started to light up a little bit, knowing that i might as well used the only time left with good laugh and nice conversation.

As we reach KJ,we spend most of our time at the Giant’s foodcourt and there we talked endlessly. Before i know it, it was 2pm and its time for me to go home.
We said our goodbyes and we’ll meet again on sunday.


It was a good day after all

:)

I love you Karl!

ifeelstupid

Assalamualaikum and hi

NOTE- cerita ini berlaku a long time ago now


So there i was. Standing in front of the post office. I stared at the entrance where the notice board says

Isnin – Sabtu

8.30 am – 5.00 pm

Ahad dan cuti umum

Cuti


Duh. So i can actually go there on Saturday. I can always drag him with me. Oh wait, he is working on that day too. I cant get used to it. The Working Karl, i mean. I found myself completely alone and for the first time in my life i found that very intolerable. Has Karl caused all this?. I cant be sure maybe, but since i get back into the people circle, since seeing my friends back, since hanging out with my 16 years old and 13 years old cousin seems to be so much fun than reading books or fantasizing while writing the next fan fiction and keep it for a very long time so in another five years i would read it and laughed hysterically. Since i’m no longer lusting over David Boreanaz Jr and (or another brand new tv show or anime)

Damn.


The post office are, well i cant say it was crowded like U 80 -bus -on the- morning -and -on –that- freakin -8 pm –everyday- crowded but lets just say i was not comfortable with the amount of staring that i got when i enter the post office or maybe i taped over a sign on my forehead that says ‘ Hell, i’m lost’ ( Can you write that many words on my forehead because mine is quite small and i suspect it already got ‘clueless’ on it.)
By the way that is not the point, the point is that i was tempted to go and asked somebody about it and was about to resort to the Kaunter Pertanyaan, when i realize those two guys that sits at the desk are here for some other business meaning they are not working there ( beside they wore this ridiculously cOwboy hat) but atleast they are not clueless. Not like me.

I took a deep breath. What the hell? i dont even know what to say.
So i went out, i went to the bus stop and almost resorting to Tesco (There’s a post office there) but then i had headache.
I could’ve curse but knowing now whatever wrong doing will be punished severely and with lightning speed ( I think i have some sort of Djinn watching over me now.LOL)
I got back after awhile after reading ‘Sweetheart From Hell’ entertaining really.
Well, i got back and finally taking my queue number and sat down.
Everything went fine though i did babble to Karl on how ridiculously stupid i felt at the time, i text him of course. He didnt text me back. Later i found out i text it to the number that he didnt use currently.
Ah, no wonder he is so relaxed about it and even has the audacity to coated sugar his blame on me (As usual, i forgave him as soon he look at me with that puppy dog eyes, or kitten eyes LOL)

Karl. I had an headache. If you’re in front of me. I could hurt you.
But being Karl, my annoyance has no effect on him.

Finally my number been called up.
The counter guy need the owner’s new ID number.
Damn.
The insurance is RM125
Damn

“Takpelah i datang next time jela” I said. With a huge smile on my face.

“Eh, dah tunggu lama takkan pergi macam tu je? Ni motor sapa?” He asked and he smiled at me warmly. Is he flirting with me? ( My perasan assumption)

“Motor pakcik” Actually its my boyfriends’s uncle and the name on the paper is his uncle’s friends, blame me for not making it complicated.

“Telefon la pakcik jap, tanya number IC” He asked again, try to be helpful

“X de number phone” I answer with a smile. ( I smiled a lot when i nervous)

“Jap-jap tengok boleh tak...” The guy ask his colleague about it. Nice to see people taking efforts to serve me ( To serve me? hahaha)

“Sorry tak boleh, esok datang lah lagi bawak number ic pakcik, tak yah ambik nombor terus datang sini” He smile.

“Ok” I said but innately i screams ‘SHIT!!’

Haha, then i went home. Ate maggi like hell and slept.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Heaven

Heaven,
I look above and wonder of heaven
I had tears and anguish
My own, my own fault
Where's my angel
That promised so much

Heaven,
I look down and I heard them say
There's heaven,
On where you are now
Look around

Come around now
I missed you, I missed you
It seems my night swallowed by my pain
Heaven,
Where's my angel,
He promised me so much,
Oh angel,

Kurus Vs Me

Assalamualaikum

Semalam aku dan Karl berjumpa sekali lagi. Seperti biasa aku akan melepak di CC sebelum bertemu dengannya. Tapi semalam rasa seronok kerana aku dapat makan pari bakar yang sedap,ah, teringatkan saja semalam buat aku rasa begitu lapar,,
Aku memang kuat makan, hahahaha, satu penyakit yang 'dihadiahkan' oleh Karl tak lama dulu. Tapi yang menjadi kerisauan aku ialah berat badan ku yang terlalu rendah. Tinggi aku adalah dalam 158-161 cm ikut jangkaan aku, jadi berat badan ideal aku ialah 45 kg tapi berat badan yang dapat aku naikkan cuma 41 kg kalau naik pun 44 kg sahaja itupun esok turun balik ke paras tak normal 40/41.
Mungkin juga kadar metabolisme aku tinggi, jadi makanlah banyak mana pun, lemak aku akan dibakar dengan cepat. Haih, aku rindu pipi ku yang gebu dan ala-ala tembam itu.

Mental block

Assalamualaikum,



Aku mulai rasa pening dan hilang semangat untuk menulis, mungkin sebab aku merasa tertekan akhir-akhir ini. Aku tak tahu apa yang membuat aku tertekan, mungkin kerana aku tidak mulai mencari kerja, hal aku dan dia dan dia bila fikirkan kembali bukanlah serius masalah aku, tapi cukup untuk buat aku hilang fokus.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Karl. Lagi-lagi Karl!

17 September 2008


Melihat ke dalam mata mu semalam
Hati ini pun cuma berkata-kata di dalam
Sungguh, sungguh memeritkan memendam perasaan
Cuma sendiri saja yang tahu langkah jiwa ini
Bertatih-tatih mencari keluar agar tak dilingkar sengsara
Padamu ada impian dan ini juga
Ini juga cuma satu-satunya yang aku ada

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Selamat Hari Raya

Assalamualaikum.

Selamat Hari Raya. Moga segala salah dan silap hamba dapat di maafkan.
:) Marilah kita bermula semula di tahun baru ini dengan berbaik-baik antara kita.

Hahaha.
Its funny, sebab hamba tahu kalian semua cuma akan mengulangi kesilapan yang sama. Hamba dan kalian. Semuanya sama sahaja.
Dan bila kita bersalam-salam. Hamba kira semuanya sudah dimaafkan.
Tapi hamba silap. Rupanya tuan hamba masih menyimpan dendam.
Kekasaran tuan hamba tempoh hari hanya membuatkan hamba mengingat kembali dendam yang lalu.

Tapi itu semuanya hamba berikan dalam senyuman yang penuh kepuraan.
Bukankah itu yang tuan hamba inginkan?.

Selamat Hari Raya.
Jangan ingat hanya kerana hamba tersenyum-senyumlebar hingga ke pipi kerana hamba bahagia tapi hanya kepuraan semata agar tuan hamba tidak ada alasan untuk menyalahkan hamba.

Ah, hamba tidak bisa menjadi diri hamba lagi. Demi kebahgiaan tuan hamba banyak yang sudah hamba korbankan.
Tapi maafkanlah jika makin lama makin kepuraan ini berpecah.
Haha. Berapa lama sangatlah hamba dapat berpura?

Maafkan hamba jika suatu hari nanti hamba tidak dapat lagi berpura, sembunyi dalam senyuman yang penuh hipokrasi.

Oh, maafkanlah hamba.
dari zahir dan batin.
Selamat hari raya.

Sometime Before Raya

It was something that i do sometime. Staying up late just figure out something. Or merely getting ideas out of my head. Argh, i felt like my brains are freezes over. These mental blocks are killing me. I cant freakin concentrate on what i suppose to do.



Just yesterday, talking to Karl who are obviously feeling unwell ( Goodness the fever scares me and he was kind enough to even pull a stunt on me which i found very ...i don't know how to put it. Scary? ) Then we talked about the book he recently read. He fancied Konserto Terakhir which is my textbook when i was in Form 5. The novel are interesting,the life of a man who suffered undying, unfulfilled love, the life of a man who cant find love when he supposed to embrace one.


To put it straight?. Its about a goody to shoe guy with a freakin hard life and to top all the hardship, he had the suckiest love life, he’s in love with his own cousin who are betrothed to other man. He got married though, but it ended up in a divorce.
Then he died. Tragic really. But aren't we all addicted to this kind of tragedies.
A good man with sad endings. Ah, but death is not the end right?. He might go to heaven since he was all goody to shoe and i know i mention it before. I forgot to mention that he’s a musician. He compose for orchestra. The cool band factor. How can we not fell in love with the character.
:p



Karl totally loves this kind of novel. It remind him of the old him and i frown from the inside because if he was anything like that, i know we’ll stay friends forever but not more than that. A goody to shoe is like an annoying reminder of what you should not be. I dont really appreciate being telling of what to do or not to do. People might say we should be reminding each other, (Ingat-mengingati) only the problem is , i never forget and i really need to forget it while i can . Haha, really i still got that teenagers rebellious edge in me.


When i was 16, most of my friends are busy making connection to the world that they eagerly want to step in. I was at home, be a good girl . I thought, enough of it . Boys are such waste of time, fashion is another form of gluttons. Now 21 I'm falling into it.


Great, where we are again?.

By the way Karl.
I think you’ll like this one.

RESTU

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Aku, Karl dan Godaan

Assalamualaikum,




Hari ini aku tak berbuka puasa seorang diri,seperti tahun lepas aku ditemani oleh Karl. Aku paling benci pergi ke bazzar ramadhan. BR. Haha! as i would call it. Aku rasa tempat tu penuh dengan godaan dan aku adalah manusia yang paling senang di'tempted' dengan makanan. Dengan duit ku yang tak pernah cukup, aku dah pening mengira-ngira apa yang mahu ku beli. Andai beli yang ini yang itu tak cukup duit pulak nak beli. Aih,,
Jadi akhirnya ini yang aku beli,,


Satu untuk Karl, satu untuk aku!. Benda ni namanya Roti Goreng.Sedap ni, aku mula meminati benda ni masa aku sekolah menengah dulu. Mak tiri aku suka beli benda ni and bila aku try, sedap lak. Pastu bila aku masuk kolej, aku dah tak jumpa benda nih, until last year di BR Kelana Jaya,waah! aku memang suka benda ni cuma yang aku kureng pasal benda ni, is that ianya sangatlah berminyak, membuatkan aku rasa kenyang dan muak makan benda ni je. Tapi aku tak berani cakaplah sekarang,tatkala melihat roti goreng yang cukup menggiurkan!..Waah!.

Ni aku rasa sekali tengok, semua orang tau mende ni. Ni lah antara kuih favourite aku. Kuih keria!. Dulu aku panggil ni donat kecik,pastu kena gelak dengan mak aku.. :) .
Heh, still my favourite till now.
Sekarang kita tengok apa yang Karl beli untuk diri dia.


Bingka ubi. Aku takde perasaan pabila melihat kuih ni. Tapi aku sekarang kuat makan, asal sedap bantai je la!. Karl ada beli something else tapi aku tak tahu mende namanya. Hee.





Rangka ayam goreng Ni klasik pasar malam. Tapi antara kesukaan ramai jugaklah.
Tak sabar rasanya aku nak ratah mende alah ni!!

Untuk air pulak, aku serahkan pada Karl nak beli air apa. Bermakna itu semua ikut lidah dia. Hari ni lidah merah milik si Karl nak rasa



Air asam boi!!

Haha, selamat berbuka!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Fasting and Berbuka!

Selamat Berbuka puasa,Happy fasting!

Itu saja dua bahasa yang aku reti and understood. Maaflah di atas kerojakan bahasa saya.
Hari ini adalah hari pertama umat islam berpuasa untuk tahun ini. Kini saya di cyber cafe sambil menghabiskan masa yang ada sementara menunggu waktu berbuka.
Mula-mula rasanya saya ingin berbuka di rumah tapi ada sesuatu yang menganggu fikiran saya sehinggakan saya mengambil keputusan untuk berbuka puasa sendirian di luar. Sesuatu yang saya kira tidak pernah saya lakukan.
Oh,ya..apa yang ada pada saya untuk berbuka ya?
ya itu dia,,
Kurma kegemaran saya
and what's for the big course?
i'm thinking fast food..
So that its, i geuss..

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Hold my hand !


Top 10 ways to hold hands with your sweetheart


If you’re one of the many people out there who think that holding hands is a simple, boring routine that adds nothing to a marriage or romantic relationship, think again! It’s time to stop worrying about public dispays of affection . . . and start learning how to hold hands!



Hand holding, if done correctly, can add a new dimension of intimacy and excitement to your romance . . . but only if you let it! There are tons of romantic ideas to transform regular hand holding into a passionate, playful experience that can add a much-needed spark to your relationship from the very first caress.

That’s right: there’s more than one way to hold hands with your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend . . . and lovers can find a unique method specially suited to add romance to any situation. Use the list below to come up with your own romantic ideas for holding hands with your sweetheart, but don’t stop there! Combine techniques, experiment and come up with your own hand holding ideas specially suited to your unique romantic relationship.

Top Ten Hand Holding Techniques

1. The Passive Hand Hold

This is hand holding in its simplest form: your sweetheart’s hand gently but firmly cupped in yours. It’s most appropriate for public environments where you want to remain tasteful and avoid looking “clingy,” but is still a great, effective way to add physicality to your romantic relationship.

2. The Intertwined Fingers Hand Hold

A step up from the Passive Hand Hold, Intertwined Fingers provides a firmer grip and an increased sense of intimacy. This type of hand holding is perfect while taking a romantic walk together, but it can have a downside of sweaty palms!

3. The One-Finger Hand Hold

Holding just one of your lover’s fingers is a more romantically playful method for times when you’re feeling flirtatious. This is the easiest hand hold for your sweetheart to pull away from, but is still a great way to add some fun intimacy to the mix.

4. The Massaging Hand Hold

Turning a simple hand-holding session into a relaxing massage is a wonderful romantic surprise to give your sweetheart. There’s an art to romantic massage, and an unlimited number of ways you can caress your lover’s hands and give attention to each finger. This hand-holding method is best used while sitting down!

5. The Two-Hand Hold

Here’s another technique that is tough to do while standing, but one of the best ways to add some serious physicality and intimacy to hand holding. Taking your sweetheart’s hand in both of yours will give them a deep sense of security, importance and calm.

6. The Palm Caress Hand Hold

This method is an intimate, secret way to tastefully caress your lover without being noticed by others around you. Starting with the Passive or Intertwined Fingers technique, use one of your fingers to gently rub your sweetheart’s palm in an up-and-down or swirling fashion.

7. The Kissing Hand Hold

The Kissing Hand Hold is perfect for intimate situations when you’re alone with your special someone, and is often combined with the Two-Hand Hold. Clean hands are perfect for kissing, and you should never be afraid to shower your lover’s fingertips, palms and wrists with romantic pecks!

8. The Gentle Pinching Hand Hold

This one isn’t right for every romantic relationship, and can be a little too playful and rough for some couples. But gently pinching your lover’s fingertips and palms, if done correctly, can be an exciting, fun experience for you and your sweetheart, as long as you make sure you don’t do it too hard.

9. The Warm-Up Hand Hold

When it’s cold outside, there’s no better way to warm up your fingers than by having them caressed and rubbed lovingly by your favorite person in the world. Don’t make your sweetheart use a heater when you have two perfectly good, warm hands to help them out! Combine this technique with the Massaging Hand Hold for a great effect.

10. The The Morse-Code Hand Hold

This is the most unorthodox and interactive hand-holding technique, but can be a heck of a lot of fun if you and your lover can master it. Agree ahead of time of a phrase that you want to share with each other silently–such as “I love you”–and assign it a number of squeezes that correspond with the syllables in the phrase. Your sweetheart will remember that when you squeeze three times it means “I-love-you” . . . and can respond with a four-squeeze “I-love-you-too”!

Satay!



Ah, blog. I never know what to do with it except pouring my heart out sometime. So it is not a surprise to find it fill with poems (Not that i was any good at it but it worth the time). Yesterday, again. I met Karl for a date. Duh, obviously!. But we've been going out f or like, gizillion time that i didnt even think of it as a date. More like a 'regular outing' with a friends, whom i like so much.

He's a part time lover and a full time friend Steal this line from Juno but it suits so well I geuss i'll copy cat it, the line is so good Well, Karl i cant see what everybody see in everyone else
But you

Haha,,nyempat lagi aku..
By the way back to the topic. yesterday we went all the way to Rawang and ate like 30 sticks of
Sate Kambing. Though kuah dia is not what i had tasted before but it is still good and Karl grin everytime i put mouthful of nasi with the sate in my mouth.
Sorry. I'm a total barbaric with good food.
So the journey took like 2 hours, traffic jams and everything and the bus just stop exactly in front of the restaurant.
There, without wasting anytime. We ordered and dig in.
ARgh..can i go there again. Now?

Friday, July 11, 2008

ah love

I really had a go at it and oh, what a mess
You had my heart youre so misleading
I could just walk but now i just cant
Right now i get a little time just breathing
I see what you see and that is something

I thought i could swell by your sight
I thought i could just let it all passed it by
Now that it fall tore open
Well not too long honey
I am broken
And i dont wanna be the one
To tell you this
I dont wanna,i dont wanna

Saturday, June 28, 2008

"Shall We" by me

To Jijie

Love the sun you give
Love the rainbows
Love the shiny little diamonds of hope
That you spread..




Here i am. In a room so bright
Waiting for the sun to come up
So we shall say hello
Until it sets again
Then we shall say goodbye

If the nights are our waitings
If the stars are our calender
That we can count each passing moment
With every tiny sparkling stars
So we shall wait
Until the waiting is over

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Aku mahu berpegang pada harapan

Assalamualaikum

Selamat pagi,tengah hari,petang dan malam

Nukilan hati.

Aku ingin berpegang pada harapan

Aku meletak harapan dan ianya jatuh berjuraian

Air mata jatuh seperti itu juga

Tahukah kamu tentang kesedihan hati seseorang itu

Matahari menyinar setelah hujan jatuh mencurahkan

Sebanyak duka tapi aku tak mahu mengalah,

aku tak mahu menghancur mimpi

Aku masih membawa ianya pulang

I dont want to let it go

I dont want to let it fall

Oh sayang, matahari mula naik

Cant you see, cant you see?

We'll hold on and it is for something

We have it all,we got all the hope we need

Perfect,life may not be perfect

Hold on well please hold on

We aint loser we just fallin now and then

But there's no telling what the sun can bring on

We have it and we have it all

Its the sun its the moon

We'll be dreaming and one day

We have it all

Aku masih cuba untuk menulis : 0

Assalamualaikum

Selamat pagi,tengah hari, petang dan malam

Aku harus menulis dengan lebih banyak lagi dan membaca dengan intently supaya skill menulis ku dan juga vocab ku yang tak

seberapa itu dapat ditingkatkan. Terutamanya bahasa Inggeris...god i'm suck at it.

Tapi sejak kebelakangan ini sejak aku mendapat kekasih yang mengambil berat tentang aku, yang tak jemu dengan aktiviti

berjalan tanpa henti itu, telah membawa aku jauh dari bidang penulisan dan pembacaan.

Arleast dia juga suka membaca cuma aku tak suka terperap di dalam library yang sangat sejuk.

Aku tak tahan sejuk, aku akan menjadi lemah kerana kesejukan.

Jadi aku pinjam buku saja. Tapi kadang-kala aku perlu study bahan-bahan yang diperlukan untuk novel-novel ku.

Walaupun ianya bukan lah sesuatu yang complex tapi masih lagi memerlukan kajian untuk geografi (latar tempat novel) masyarakat dan budaya, apa saja yang menjadi tumpuan dalam novel tersebut seperti profession perguruan.

Banyak bukan?

Karl amat menyokong ku,tapi aku dah menjadi makin malas menghadap buku...

God...

Gimana ni?

Cinta hatiku dan football match

Assalamualaikum

Selamat pagi,tengah hari,petang atau malam.

Aku sangat sayang pada karl. Anda tahukah tentang hakikat itu?.

Waa! sorry, aku buat lagi. Macam kau seorang di dunia ini yang mempunyai kekasih hati!.

Awal-awal pagi tadi ketika semua orang sibuk menonton perlawanan antara Rusia dan Belanda, Karl menelefon aku.

Jam pada waktu itu menunjukkan pukul dua lebih. Huaaah! aku cukup mengantuk, tapi aku layankan aja bicaranya walaupun

Kedengaran kabur di corong telinga ku. Biar aku fikir apa ya..

Karl: D...K rasa menyesal la..

D: menyesal nape? (aku merasa mengantuk...mataku terpejam rapat)

Karl: Yelah tak beli kuih kat pasar malam tadi,beli sayur je (karl sangat suka memasak dan seorang tukang masak yang bagus)

D: hmmm..(itu je reaction aku pada waktu itu...aku tak dapat nak kata apa) shian dia...(itu pun aku tak rasa aku cakap)

karl: ok lah K nak gi tengok bola ni

D: hmm..ok tengok sorang2 ke?

karl: ahah..ok lah D ..love you..mmuah..

D: love you too...

click..talian diputuskan. Dan mataku tertutup rapat terus tidur.

Pukul 5 lebih Karl menelefon sekali lagi.

Dia buat super savers.

Oh Sayang.Aku cinta padamu

: )

Life pada mulanya

Assalmualaikum

Selamat pagi,tengah hari, petang atau malam...kiranya ada orang yang membaca

(Tapi rasanya tidak ada..)

Tak apalah.Biarkan.

Aku merasa hidup aku dirantai oleh kebosanan yang teramat sangat.Actually itu semua pun salah aku sendiri.

Aku memberhentikan diri aku dari kolej kerana bebanan hutang yang kian menjerut leher aku..

Tapi aku mampu menyembunyikan hakikat itu meskipun aku rasa mama ku tahu tentang hakikat itu...though not exactly.

Sekarang ini aku menyambung pelajaran ku tapi kau tak tahu di mana..dan juga tidak mempunyai wang untuk itu..

kalau aku harus berkerja di mana aku harus berkerja? Akankah ada minat untuk aku menyambung pelajaran andai wang ringgit itu aku genggam tiap bulan,andai hidup itu aku mula mendapat segala keinginan material yang sebelum terpaksa aku diamkan kerana

tak mahu terlalu menyusahkan mama ku (Believe me...i cost a lot.)

Entah lah...

Aku betul-betul tak tahu apa yang aku mahukan dari hidup ku..aku merasa seperti ingin mengubah segala-glanya yang ada dalam hidup aku..

~Aku nak sambung belajar

~Aku nak habiskan novel-novel aku

~Aku perbaiki skill penulisan aku yang sangat teruk itu

~Aku nak belajar photoshop

~Aku nak pergi ber'camping dengan famili ku

Tapi apa kesudahan aku dan mamaku?

Aku sendiri tak tahu

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Masa Depan

Yeah,
Hidup aku tiada yang luar biasanya...
Dan aku masih sayang dia
Funny,
Aku tidak terfikr untuk 'menyimpan'
Padahal sudah hampir setahun
Dia hebat.

Tapi aku tak 'perfect'
and aku tak expect untuk jadi perfect
Aku nak jadi aku
Aku suka 'complain'
Aku senang penat
Tapi aku tak cerewet
dan aku suka kerjasama..
Bila membina sesuatu semuanya mesti sama-rata
Kalau tak,
Cinta akan lebih terasa seperti alasan
Diri akan lebih terasa seperti hamba

Meet Cousin Hussein

Kala ini aku terasa pening yang teramat sangat,
Melayari internet, myspace dan friendster..
Then, Najihah berkata sesuatu tentang blog abangnya Hussein
Lalu laman blog ini dibuka..
Ku baca blog saudara Hussein,
Tak sangka,
Aku begitu suka akan bicara blognya
Cara dia menyusun ayat hingga tampak puitis dan begitu 'sempoi'
As young people would say...
Walau kadang-kala ada ayat-ayatnya kedengaran keterlaluan
Tapi tiada niat untuk menghakimi kerana aku juga selalu merasa apa yang dia rasa
Mungkin bukan masalah yang sama tapi perasaan yang sama.
Saudara Hussein,
Di sini aku ingin mengatakan dengan penuh 'admiration'
Yang aku begitu suka dengan hasil tulisan mu

Well,
Sepupu kau ni tak tak pandai in anything
so keep on writing n inspire more

peace!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise


Planning going on a date for Valentine Day but unfortunately you are tied down by other important things by your boss, lecturer or even your mom. Well, the bad news is that your girlfriend/boyfriend [girlfriend especially] are going to be pissed and the good news is there are something that you can do to fix these problems, it could get quite fussy but for the one that you love it shouldn’t be a problem : )

This one goes to all you people who are having problem expressing your love to your loves one, simply because you are shy. I think this one is a good idea.

  • Call them as early as 6 or 7 am in the morning [depends on your lover wakey2 time] tell them how much you missed them and how madly in love you are like it was the first time you met each other. Let them hear your voice first thing in the morning.

  • Ok, another easy part. Classic but never goes out of styles. Flowers and Chocolates.Delivered them at your lover’s doorstep but don’t show up in front of her/him. Just leave the gifts there and if you want, watch by afar your beloved surprised and happy face when she/he received the gifts.

  • Well, if you guys had any free time, just showed up at her workplace, college, house and ‘kidnapped’ her/him for a romantic lunch by the park [again dun forget the choc and flowers]

  • A dinner? See its another classic and why it is classic cuz it work every time and depend upon your creativity. Its either a romantic candle light dinner or a walk at the park, or picnic at the top of a hill, it sure does it!

The Red and The Delicious Black







11 Most Romantic Gifts

~ A bouquet of your beloved favorite flowers

~ Candies and chocolates which are her/his favorite

~ Perfume

~ Accessory [bangle, bracelet, necklace ...stuff like that]


~New shirt, jeans, bag anything that she or he wanted of all this time

~ Stuffed toys [a cute teddy bear usually do the trick]

~ Cd [compilation of her/his favorite romantic songs or simply ‘the’ song if you know what I mean] *wink*

~ A nice movie date, or a really romantic dinner or simply a picnic at the park.

~ Treasure box [ contain every bits of evident of your sweetest memories together] treasure this one, one day you might wanna give it to her/him and that would surely make her [especially] cry.

~Buy her, her favorite pet! Like cats, dogs, birds, hamsters or GLIDERS {you know the sugar brown one] *wink* *wink* at Karl

Cupid is in town!

It’s the February, the Valentine’s month. Everyone is looking forward to it especially the couples or more precisely the ladies. To me the only thing that I love about Valentines Day is the delicious chocolates and those cute flowers that always had that certain effects on me, the celebration itself however failed to make an impression to me.

But hey, no need to spoil the mood just enjoys the moment; love your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband, pampered them with your devoted attention and affection not only because it’s Valentines Day.

Its because you love them and you love them every single moment of your life.

Plus, there’s tips for you to take note from and maybe I’ll find some sappy lovey-dovey love storied for you lovebirds out there and, uh, a confession on my own mushy-mushy feelings of My L [yeah, you can believe that cuz I’m not gonna]

Before that, let’s recap! Whatever things that ever happen in the month of January.

Lemme see, ok so there this Quicksilver revolution 2.0 thingy at Sunway Lagoon. I went there with Karl, Bunny and her bf. It was ok for me. The whole thing got surfers and skateboarders and couple of bands and also I’ll be a complete doofus if i forget this…crowd of hot dude and dudette in bikinis and tight spandex..man,am I lovin it or not?.

Yeah few days ago I just been robbed while Karl walking me to the bust stop, those two creeps just took my phone [now that I’m phoneless, I’m practically dying] and now I’m lamenting for a new one.

God help me with that one


Friday, January 25, 2008

My Ocean


The winds blew across the ocean deep,
As the clouds shifted into figurative flowers,
I watched the sea slowly turn red,
As red as blood,
Fiery with fire,
Though the water freeze beneath the surface,
With that my heart have gone wild,
Crushed in this empty loneliness,
I kill everything that dare to walk before me,
For you will be the only path that i will take..
Only you

See You

By the time you get home,
I'll be long gone,
By the time you read this letter,
I'll be out of your life,
And if youre wondering just why,
I wont make it clear, wont explain it neither,
And this little thing call life,
Prompt me to moved on,

Its a long road ahead,
I'm on my feet, i'm walking slow,
But the miles keeps me alive,
Another direction is another sign,
That i can move on,
I can go on,

If you only knew what to do,
You would've been here to stop me,
But that dont matter no more,
I'll be away,
Gone no where to be found,

And if you ever missed me,
Just bear in mind,
That i'm not near and not coming back,
See you,


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Food,Gossips and Boys


Yesterday, aku pergi gak jumpe dak2 sengal tu. And we spent hours of our time hanging out at the Curve. We did some karaoke and aku rase agak terkilan sbub i have sore throats, x leh nak kuar suare but i like it when my voice go all hoarse and croaky (in a sexy way of course ) *wink* *wink*
Then ingat nak balik rumah trus dlm kul 7.30 but i'm aching for some good delicious food though not necessarily mengenyangkan..So i ate this delicious Paratha's. Parathas are basicly roti canai except this one are folded and filled with savoury or sweets fillings. I ate two of them yesterday,
chicken n cheese and the other, banana chocolate...its a wow for me..teehee.
Then the four of us talked for hours at the Bunny's favorite kafe. We go on and on with jokes and our love life and our ex's, ahahaha..
A notion that never failed to entertain me. Then finally its 7.30 and we're supposed to get on the bus but the 4 of us are so busy talking, we decided nak gerak dalam kul 9, funny, akhirnya sume nak tdo rumah Nemo.
Balik rumah Nemo, we ate instant noodle with sausage and these monsters only left 3 sausages for me...argh..tension..
Then at night i waited for Karl to misscalled me then i spent three hours talking on the phone from 2 am till 5 am...
This is life.. : p

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Bitch mode

Its Sunday and my brain threathen to spill on the computer desk rite now.
Yup,aku overnite lagi semalam. So every inch of my body is sore, and i'm feeling cranky, so cranky i could just kill someone out of frustration.
So today's drill is simple as ever. HKL, meet up with my dad and chat untill 7.30 pm, then i could go home.
Except that today is the shoe hunting day. I need to get a pair of heels and none captures my heart.Seriously, i would only wear them if need to wear all those 'ladies' clothes, whatever.
And my budget is tight. I got rm 100 left, and tomorrow dak2 tu nak jumpe la plak.
Malas.
I wasnt allowed to bring Karl with me, because one of them need to spill something up.
*yawn* right, thats not like the first time benda nie jadik, so whats the fuss?
Really gurl, you should get a grip and get over it cuz the stories is getting old and i;m tired of hearing it.
But wait!..a good, thoughtful, caring girlfriend would understand that would never rasa bosan and annoyed kan?
Sorry honeys, i'm a bitch today.