Thursday, October 16, 2008

Heaven

Heaven,
I look above and wonder of heaven
I had tears and anguish
My own, my own fault
Where's my angel
That promised so much

Heaven,
I look down and I heard them say
There's heaven,
On where you are now
Look around

Come around now
I missed you, I missed you
It seems my night swallowed by my pain
Heaven,
Where's my angel,
He promised me so much,
Oh angel,

Kurus Vs Me

Assalamualaikum

Semalam aku dan Karl berjumpa sekali lagi. Seperti biasa aku akan melepak di CC sebelum bertemu dengannya. Tapi semalam rasa seronok kerana aku dapat makan pari bakar yang sedap,ah, teringatkan saja semalam buat aku rasa begitu lapar,,
Aku memang kuat makan, hahahaha, satu penyakit yang 'dihadiahkan' oleh Karl tak lama dulu. Tapi yang menjadi kerisauan aku ialah berat badan ku yang terlalu rendah. Tinggi aku adalah dalam 158-161 cm ikut jangkaan aku, jadi berat badan ideal aku ialah 45 kg tapi berat badan yang dapat aku naikkan cuma 41 kg kalau naik pun 44 kg sahaja itupun esok turun balik ke paras tak normal 40/41.
Mungkin juga kadar metabolisme aku tinggi, jadi makanlah banyak mana pun, lemak aku akan dibakar dengan cepat. Haih, aku rindu pipi ku yang gebu dan ala-ala tembam itu.

Mental block

Assalamualaikum,



Aku mulai rasa pening dan hilang semangat untuk menulis, mungkin sebab aku merasa tertekan akhir-akhir ini. Aku tak tahu apa yang membuat aku tertekan, mungkin kerana aku tidak mulai mencari kerja, hal aku dan dia dan dia bila fikirkan kembali bukanlah serius masalah aku, tapi cukup untuk buat aku hilang fokus.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Karl. Lagi-lagi Karl!

17 September 2008


Melihat ke dalam mata mu semalam
Hati ini pun cuma berkata-kata di dalam
Sungguh, sungguh memeritkan memendam perasaan
Cuma sendiri saja yang tahu langkah jiwa ini
Bertatih-tatih mencari keluar agar tak dilingkar sengsara
Padamu ada impian dan ini juga
Ini juga cuma satu-satunya yang aku ada

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Selamat Hari Raya

Assalamualaikum.

Selamat Hari Raya. Moga segala salah dan silap hamba dapat di maafkan.
:) Marilah kita bermula semula di tahun baru ini dengan berbaik-baik antara kita.

Hahaha.
Its funny, sebab hamba tahu kalian semua cuma akan mengulangi kesilapan yang sama. Hamba dan kalian. Semuanya sama sahaja.
Dan bila kita bersalam-salam. Hamba kira semuanya sudah dimaafkan.
Tapi hamba silap. Rupanya tuan hamba masih menyimpan dendam.
Kekasaran tuan hamba tempoh hari hanya membuatkan hamba mengingat kembali dendam yang lalu.

Tapi itu semuanya hamba berikan dalam senyuman yang penuh kepuraan.
Bukankah itu yang tuan hamba inginkan?.

Selamat Hari Raya.
Jangan ingat hanya kerana hamba tersenyum-senyumlebar hingga ke pipi kerana hamba bahagia tapi hanya kepuraan semata agar tuan hamba tidak ada alasan untuk menyalahkan hamba.

Ah, hamba tidak bisa menjadi diri hamba lagi. Demi kebahgiaan tuan hamba banyak yang sudah hamba korbankan.
Tapi maafkanlah jika makin lama makin kepuraan ini berpecah.
Haha. Berapa lama sangatlah hamba dapat berpura?

Maafkan hamba jika suatu hari nanti hamba tidak dapat lagi berpura, sembunyi dalam senyuman yang penuh hipokrasi.

Oh, maafkanlah hamba.
dari zahir dan batin.
Selamat hari raya.

Sometime Before Raya

It was something that i do sometime. Staying up late just figure out something. Or merely getting ideas out of my head. Argh, i felt like my brains are freezes over. These mental blocks are killing me. I cant freakin concentrate on what i suppose to do.



Just yesterday, talking to Karl who are obviously feeling unwell ( Goodness the fever scares me and he was kind enough to even pull a stunt on me which i found very ...i don't know how to put it. Scary? ) Then we talked about the book he recently read. He fancied Konserto Terakhir which is my textbook when i was in Form 5. The novel are interesting,the life of a man who suffered undying, unfulfilled love, the life of a man who cant find love when he supposed to embrace one.


To put it straight?. Its about a goody to shoe guy with a freakin hard life and to top all the hardship, he had the suckiest love life, he’s in love with his own cousin who are betrothed to other man. He got married though, but it ended up in a divorce.
Then he died. Tragic really. But aren't we all addicted to this kind of tragedies.
A good man with sad endings. Ah, but death is not the end right?. He might go to heaven since he was all goody to shoe and i know i mention it before. I forgot to mention that he’s a musician. He compose for orchestra. The cool band factor. How can we not fell in love with the character.
:p



Karl totally loves this kind of novel. It remind him of the old him and i frown from the inside because if he was anything like that, i know we’ll stay friends forever but not more than that. A goody to shoe is like an annoying reminder of what you should not be. I dont really appreciate being telling of what to do or not to do. People might say we should be reminding each other, (Ingat-mengingati) only the problem is , i never forget and i really need to forget it while i can . Haha, really i still got that teenagers rebellious edge in me.


When i was 16, most of my friends are busy making connection to the world that they eagerly want to step in. I was at home, be a good girl . I thought, enough of it . Boys are such waste of time, fashion is another form of gluttons. Now 21 I'm falling into it.


Great, where we are again?.

By the way Karl.
I think you’ll like this one.

RESTU