Monday, October 25, 2010

My words which can only be words

I tried again. Don’t want to be the shadow no more.
I tried but I failed. This is where I’ll be.
To people I love who could barely love me. I don’t blame them. I really don’t.
Because I’m human, I am bound to have feelings.
Feelings will only be feelings. It does nothing.
But Darlings,
If there is one thing that I won’t regret.
It’s you.
Thank you for everything.
For love and friendship.
If there is one thing that I won’t forget.
It’s you.

Monday, October 11, 2010

#1 Sunshine note :DD

Looking back through my blog post, I realized that I’m no sunshine. What can I say; my resentment can only be shown by written words and that my life is gloomy for the most part and I don’t have anything to say other than what I usually wrote.
So this is me trying to be … Sunshine

A week before Adilifitri, my mother took me to Jakel in Shah Alam.  It was hard for me to find that I like in there and when I did, it is too pricy. So while browsing through, one of the sales girl came up to me and ask “Tak ada apa-apa yang berkenan ke dik?”
“Hah? Pandai berenang?”

I’ve been trying to erase that from my memory.

I like it better when you're broken.

I wish I can see the world through your eyes so I can write up a piece call
“The Bitch Confession” Or “I’m just so Uber-cool, you should die”
I like the second title better because that is how I felt when I see you sometime. Seriously, you’re not a bitch; you’re neither strong nor witty.
I believe that a bitch is a crude nickname for a woman who knew how to stand up for herself and not to be afraid or intimidated by mere men. You lived for men, I seen it happens and it kept on going, nobody expected to see how low you went.
By the way cursing doesn’t make you a bitch, it made you look stupid.


That is the word for you. Hell, you admit it and quite frankly while it annoys, it didn’t really bother me until recently.
If truth to be told, I miss the old you. That quiet girl with hidden stingy comebacks, that girl is beautiful, unique and daunting in a vulnerable kind of way.
That is the YOU I loved and missed. All of that is gone now, you made it clear although I can still see the gleam of your old self when we sat back together, talking about life and heartache.
I love you more when you cry, because I don’t see your smart assess comment, your gedikness and your selfish act.

I see YOU.
Just too bad you don’t see yourself anymore and how beautiful you were.

I know you would never read this but let’s hear Shattered Glass from Britney.
It suits you.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Heart's Desire 1


I felt like my ears had its own feet and lurked around my mother’s shoulder to hear more. I was half expecting that the sound of laughter came from the other line and that very moment I felt the drumming sound of my heartbeat as I’m expecting good news.
She said no and I learn not to expect the good thing just the bad ones.
No not expecting. Hoping