Thursday, May 31, 2012

Running away

Little D wanted to get out of the house,
She swears she never wanted any part of ‘this’
Swears that she’ll never love the bed she slept in,
No she never needs the sun,
She craved the moon and all things dark,
So she left without saying goodbyes,
Oh, she swears she never comes back,
She caught her heart free,
She never misses home,
She’s soaring to the sky,
But something caught her by the hand,
Told her, she should remember where she belongs,
Little D strikes with a huff,
Saying she didn’t need a call.
She had her own,
No, no, she not alone,
She’s so free,
So high, she couldn’t see,
Her heart is always back home,


Wasn’t raining when I got there,
But it was dark,
I stand to watch and these ugly feelings,
Creeping now,
I care too much to leave,
Too weak to stand,
On my own I felt nothing like me,
Still, beneath the shadowed glances of you,
I kept away my tears,
Just all the smiles for you,
See me doing this,
Catch me calling you ‘that’,
What did you say?
What did you say?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

And it will not change. Not soon enough and not quite the change you would want. I am simply resenting facts and truth. Those two can't be separate by anything at all.


You were right,
We won't die,
Just by the absence of each other,
You were right,
It was easy to look and to find,
A new ones and it’ll scours by demand,
You were right,
All the way,

But when the darken sky sets in,
You know there’s a calling,
So faint but it imbues the wall,
And into your soul it begins,
I’ll see a different light,
You’ll shine with that smile,
We never touch but I swear,
I kissed you a million times,
In a dream, in a dream,
We’ll be,

Monday, May 28, 2012

So lonely, that I tried to chat with someone over and over again, but that is no substitute to, well, the other person. Damn it, shouldn't have watched If Only and all those sappy movies.

Effing lonely, sad and longing for a company.
Most of all, I'm longing for love. 

Arsenicum Album

You left,
Sparks of life,
Dimming now,
Through the window,
Your clouded mind gives in,
Rumination by seasons,
Too long of a time I took,
My only tourniquet,
Is your dancing reverie,
Echoed in my head,
Taken up my soul,
Oh love,

Happy song

Happy song, play me one will you?
I need a break, a smile to begin with,
Oh why can you?
Play me a happy song,
Get rid of this melancholy,
Get rid of this bitterness,

Happy song, it will brush my tears away,
I promise, I promise,
I'll smile; I'll wave in delight,
Let's be gay and delightful,
Oh play me a happy song,
Happy song, happy song,

Will you?


Not going to KL tomorrow, guess I have to settle by going on Wednesday’s evening. I would want a little bit of extension towards my stay here but everyone is going back to Lipis, and I’m not really fond of going back there. It made me feel lonely.
So I’ll be with Lex instead but Lex seems to be a bit distant, as if not that happy to have me.
But that might just be my feelings and I have the tendency to exaggerate it.  Something is missing and I am quietly disturbed by it.

Polaroid moment at the park with the two kids :)

Free ticket to me

Feel free to fall,
Into the darkness,
Into the open sky,
Paradox is what you are,
I don’t mind,
I don’t mind,
You are fantastical to me,
That even with half burned hopes,
You’re still something,
Don’t be afraid,
I’ll let it go,
When you’re flying away,
One day, one day,
Stay still if you want to,
Gazes and grazes,
I wonder how not to wonder,
To be empty,
To be free,
To be something you meant to be,

Sunday, May 27, 2012


I stayed,
Too long to make my exit,
I am cornered,
Given everything that I can,
Now it’s on the floor,
As If I know how to fix it all again,
Trying to undo what you done,
Easy as it seems,
Words that you throw in,
It’ll be easier one day,
You said, you said,

I love the way your face,
Barely touching mine,
Yet my heart soar,
So high than the sky,

Too soon?

Oddly paranoid about the job, the relationships and the everything that's been going on lately. Trying to cope with the anxiety the best way I can. Oh my,

Again and again

Great, here it comes again,
Stooping so low,
To hear the words you’re saying,
Here we are again,
Round and round,
Up and down,
Need some company,
I’ve been saying the same damn thing,
So here we go again,
Conversational and yet the silence breached,
Between the two of us,
Now we’re wondering what’s real,
Seek me for a lucid goodbye,
I didn’t know I’m dispensable,
Oh, here I go again,
A cheap hello,
Hollowed goodbyes,
Again and again,

The Beauty

She is beautiful,
Her smile is like the summer,
Her touch is cool as the winter,
Her scent is the blooming spring,
Her hair is an enchanting autumn,
It made sense,
For all the reason why,
I can’t belong,


Yes, you have been here all the time,
Always around the corner of my eyes,
I’ve noticed but I can’t tell,
If you’re existing or alive,

Saturday, May 26, 2012


Stay with me, you said,
With all the tenderness of a man,
In his death bed,
‘Cool, I’m starting to believe in you’,
Oh, how you tried to convince me,
I was swooned by emotions,
You were there, that was no surprise,
A little longer before you go,
Come again tomorrow,
Let’s not end this,
You said,

Thursday, May 24, 2012


I left two books back in Shah Alam, both contained feelings in these six months I spent away from Seremban. Working at the food court gave me something significant to do; it was nothing to some people. They looked at me and had it in their eyes, pity and wondered just how much did I screwed up to ended up here. Thanks to my baby face look, most just thought I’m just away till school started or helping out on the spare time.
Nothing important but I’ll spend another year in Neverland for some reasons. I don’t know if this is the right thing, I can’t leave anymore can’t I?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Estranged from writing. I felt least at home with this keyboard, my joyful freedom is partially taken. Never mind my exaggeration, there's tonnes of photo i would like to work on and therefore, happiness in its mild form. Ah its good to ramble again. 

Till again, Love.